The Quiet Shift of Life Changing

I used to write here often. Life shifted, seasons changed, and for a while, the words felt quieter. But lately, I’ve realized I still have so much to say… and maybe this season is one of the most meaningful yet.

My youngest is moving on.

And if I’m honest, there’s a quiet understanding in my heart that he will probably never come back home to live again. Not really. Not in the way that fills the house with shoes by the door, laughter at unexpected times, and the comfortable presence that defined so many beautiful years.

This part is amazing… and hard.

I find myself thinking about motherhood in a different way now. When I thank God, I often feel unworthy of the job I was given — and yet, so incredibly grateful that I got to do it. Of all the roles in my life, being their mom has been the greatest gift.

My kids were pure joy to me.

Even when they were ridiculously challenging.
Even when they were consumingly worrisome.
Even when I felt drained — sometimes by my own worries more than anything else.

They were still my joy.

They were what I woke up for.
And in many ways, they still are.

Motherhood changes, but it never really ends. It just evolves.

This season feels like standing at the edge of something new. There is pride, excitement, hope — and yes, a little ache too. But as a mom, I only want what is best for them. I want them to follow their prepared path. I want them to love God and give Him glory. I want them to see His will in all things.

And maybe this is the quiet truth of motherhood:
We raise them to leave.
We love them enough to let them go.
And we trust that God loves them even more than we do. HE DOES.

I will always be their mom.
That role doesn't change with distance, time, or new chapters.

And while this part is bittersweet, I know this too —
I am still waking up each day grateful…
Grateful that I was chosen.
Grateful that I got to love them.
Grateful that I still do.

And maybe that’s the most beautiful part of all.

What If...

What If...

What if I stopped pretending? What if I didn’t think about what people saw, and lived the way that burns inside of me? What if there were no checklists and comparative notes? What if we acted and reacted from a place of good will and intention, and not driven by commerce? What if the collective we celebrated and loved from a place of peace? What if we checked our hearts before we moved our mouths? What if???

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Audible

Audible

Not all bold moves work that successfully, and most have consequences….. It’s ok to be different.  It’s ok to notice the differences.  It’s not ok, in my opinion, to exploit the differences from such a place of disdain that one is trying to divide and destroy. We hide behind computer screens and scream out from a veil of darkness pretending like our opinions NEED to be heard all while failing to even care about the calamity of them.

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Traditions

Traditions

After seeing some of my pictures recently, someone said, “well you have the perfect blended family.”  I smiled. No, no we don’t, and I mean that with all sincerity, love and respect. We have a blended, sometimes broken, family...but at the end of the day we are FAMILY.

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It's His Path

It's His Path

Two roads diverged in the wood, and I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference.~ Robert Frost

At the age of 19, she ran away. For the record, she didn’t run away.

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GIFT

GIFT

During this season I get so excited about twinkling lights, gifts, parties, and people. I try so hard not to stress about it but just to enjoy all the goodness. I was reminded yesterday, once again, that there is one gift that stands above the rest…the one that matters most.

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Cozy Home- My Favorite Things 2018

Cozy Home- My Favorite Things 2018

Remember that giving a gift is giving a person a piece of your heart.  The stress and anxiety that we have affiliated with this process are unnecessary and should be reevaluated. The act of giving is an expression of love….that’s why I chose COZY HOME for this years theme.

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Release

Release

I’m simply stating that my failure to properly release and let go of the things weighing heavy on my heart culminated in a day of pure sadness and the recognition that I have to sit in silence instead of filling myself with needless noise. I have needed to feel what I actually feel so that I’m not just surviving, I’m living.

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