Isn't it crazy that each person we know brings with them different experiences, feelings and personalities that contribute to their/ our entire perspective on life.  No two people are exactly same- that's incredibly beautiful (and terrifying)!!  What is even more perplexing to me is that more times that not the mate-and at least one of our kids (if you have multiple)  tends to be on the other side of the spectrum from us!  YIKES!

3:59AM- what do you think about?  For whatever reason that's the time I wake up EVERY morning and instead of being bummed- I'm elated that I slept through the night!  My husband on the other hand would be completely bummed that it was 3:59AM.  Our perspectives on life- how we look at everything tends to be totally different.

What's worse is that all of those qualities that are so different than mine are what attracted me to my guy in the beginning.  He was fun, funny, spontaneous, exciting, and of course brilliant.  ALL THINGS I'M NOT!!  Before you get the idea that I'm going to negative town... (I was thinking about it- kidding)-THESE ARE ALL THINGS I STILL LOVE ABOUT HIM TODAY.  One of my children is EXACTLY like him and I could eat him up (not literally) because I see his younger dad in him- it's beautiful.  My guess is that you're pretty similar.... things that you aren't your spouse is and vice versa.  

(Where's the BUT in all this?)  Well just because I love these things doesn't mean I always understand them fully!!  I'm not him and he's certainly not me (my gypsy, smiley self annoys the crud out of him at times).  I know that this is human nature but I'm concerned and have witnessed that what draws people to each other can also pull them apart.  Like I said, most of us are drawn to what we are not.  

If you think about the things you argue about- if you really get to the root of the problem- a lot of it boils down to them being them, you being you, and neither one understanding each others perspective!  Even though I know this I'm GUILTY AS CHARGED. 

In life we are bound to hit hard times.  Nobody wants them.  Nobody wishes for them.  They are very hard to plan for.... but they will come.  A lot of the times the biggest problem isn't the challenges you are facing.. it's that you both deal with things differently.  Leaning in and trying to think from your mates perspective at these challenging and overwhelming moments can make all the difference in the world.  Truthfully it's one of the HARDEST things to do but it's necessary in the turbulent times. 

At the end of the day you and your mate were yolked together for a reason.  So when crud happens-who in the world would you rather get through it with?  Listening to their perspective and setting aside your own pride can make all the difference in the world (and praying a ton).  When life hands you lemons squeeze hard on your mates hand, make some kick butt lemonade and go on a date to remove the ugliness of whatever reality you're in. Reconnect and recommit to each other each day and you can surely weather any storm!