My Box

Sitting on the couch on a snowy day with a warm blanket, oversized sweater, sipping a steaming cup of coffee out of my favorite mug, with my favorite book- probably Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander Series- was my jam This was my comfort zone.  It was and still is MY HAPPY PLACE.


I don’t need to be surrounded by people, noise, things (although none of those are bad) I like quiet and romance.  To me, that scenario sounds heavenly (and may only happen once a year).   

When I’m in that moment, at that time, I’m in my box.  That’s where my life was comfortable and fine.   I know it.   Everything inside that box is mine.  The problem is that when I stayed inside that box- I wasn't allowing myself to come out.  Occasionally, that’s just fine- but probably no place to LIVE.

This morning I left my comfort zone.  I left my home in the dark hours, while the house was asleep, to embark on a journey.  I’m stepping out of the box and I’m terrified.  My life is in that box.   I don’t know if I ever thought about it or if I was living a life of complacency but I didn’t know there was life outside of the box.  I didn’t realize that I could even breathe outside of the box. I truly don't know if I even wanted to.


When I opened the box, about a year, ago and started to peek through I found three key things. 

I found Passion.  Before seeing the light outside of my box, I was certainly passionate about my guy, my children , and family and friends beyond them,  but I didn’t realize that there was this crazy passion inside of me that was gurgling…  It was an eruption ready to happen and I didn’t even know it.  What I’ve found is that my passion has given me a platform to listen to and help people and that fills me up so that when I’m back in my box I appreciate it so much more.

I found commitment and strength.  I realized that for years I had lived in my box out of fear.  I would find myself putting one foot into several different things so that I always had the excuse to take it back out- just in case it didn’t work outWhen I committed to my passion I owned it.  I will not take my foot out.  I climbed over the fence and have both feet firmly in.  This is not easy for the girl that just wants her pj’s on and to stay inside her box.

I found me.  I am NOT saying I wasn’t me when I hadn’t found my passion.  I’m not even saying that my comfort zone isn't my haven.  What I am saying is that I found that there is so much more in me that I wasn't  allowing to shine.  There is so much still erupting in me that was not being fueled because I was too afraid to fail-at being me.

We all have itWe all have passion, strength and commitment.  We all have our inner us that wants to be heard and seen.  We all are destined for greatness but we have to open our box, peek through and allow ourselves to explode.  I took off my pj’s, put on some high heels and left the house this morning- butterflies in my belly, fear dangling in front of me-but molten lava spewing out ready to ignite (imagine that mess)-all knowing that I will happily return to my wide open box preparing those in it to open theirs, as well.