I Dance

I can’t dance but my body does it anyway.  No but seriously though, my rhythm is so bad that I barely clap when everyone in a crowd is clapping because I don’t want to throw anyone else off.  TRUE STORY.  That, however, does NOT hold true if the music starts and I have a little bit of room (and wine- but you knew that already).  I can not restrain myself.  I’m not proud of this but….my signature move has something to do with my hips rocking around and me going low, low, low with a big sh#% eating grin on my face. (Or at least my head tells me I get low- who knows.)  IT IS NOT PRETTY, but for whatever reason it materializes into me doing a version of an overbite and praying I don’t fall on my way up (because my lack of coordination is apparent even when I’m NOT dancing)…. I LOVE IT THOUGH!!!  No, I don’t think I can dance.  Yes, I KNOW I don’t look good doing it.  I can’t help it… the music starts and I start INVOLUNTARILY (this is what I tell others) MOVING (and in turn I usually give them a good laugh-which actually may be the point).  Watch out if “Baby Got Back” comes on - I know I just dated myself but Oh My Gawd…. I can’t even!


I’m an “I am who I am kind of person.”  It would go to figure that I then dance in front of people when I clearly shouldn’t… but it’s more than that.  I CHOOSE to dance because I CHOOSE the freedom of it.  I don’t need to look good doing it (anyone who has seen me dance should bite their tongue RIGHT now)... I NEED to experience the JOY in it!  I love to see people laugh at me, more for them than me.  I want to live this life to it’s fullest and it’s not going to matter one iota if I look good (there are many lessons in that but I'll save that for another day) doing it.  What matters is that I did it.  When I’m no longer here, NOT ONE PERSON will be talking about my gracefulness (pinky swear) but I hope they can talk about how I made them feel (possibly better because I made a fool out of myself.)   

Everyone has a story to tell or not tell (that may be the question-I’m really not funny but I’m going to keep trying.)  We ALL have baggage.  I actually don’t like calling it that.  We all have experienced LIFE… and NO ONE ever promised it would be easy.  Each one of us has experience being wronged, hurt, scared, sick, abandoned, addicted, tempted,  and/or lonely…YOU fill in the blank.  I believe it’s dangerously irresponsible, and insensitive, really, to quantify any one person’s personal wounds because God created each of us to feel and react to things differently.  People are dealing with BIG STUFF!  Some of it is unfathomable.  THE BIG GUY KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING, so I will not question that.  Although circumstances can seem measurable at times, how one person deals with a situation can look remarkably different than the next person.  I get that life is serious and occasionally the hurt can feel unbearable, but after having been around a few blocks of life in my day it’s also the only life you are going to live here on earth and we better make our positive impact felt.  Keeping this in mind, and with all respect being recognized, I am fairly certain (I’m actually quite positive but I’m trying to be nice) that it is our responsibility to not focus so heavily on our personal past tense verb but instead to choose the positivity and compassion that we can spread to others.  I know most people haven’t heard this in today’s world but:  IT’S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU! I know that I, personally, need to hear that sometimes. If we CHOOSE to get out of our own head for a split second and attempt to spread joy and love onto others then we will feel more joy ourselves (see I brought it back around to you.)  This action does not make said wounds disappear and or negate life’s trials, but it WILL help to turn on an albeit dim light in your black hole that can suffocate all of the joy.  My friend, who died this summer, was a living testimony.  Someone in their own personal darkest days, sent me happy messages and asked me how I was.  She was remarkable and inspirational.  Her light shined bright and she had every earthly reason for it not to! 


I’ve been asked why I’m so positive and happy all the time.  (At this I laugh- my sisters would cringe- ‘cause I’m NOT…. but my heart’s desire was created to be.)….JESUS CHRIST.  He LIVES in my heart.   Listen, I'm not on a pedestal, and I'm NOT PREACHING.  I’m not immune to hurt, anger and the like but I refuse to live in my own personally created abyss that wants to suck me in and will keep me there until it spits me out in pieces, because he died for me (and you).  I NEED to live wholly and completely, because he died for me (and you).  I pray that I see my blessings not my wounds, because he was wounded immeasurably for me (and you).  I want to laugh more than I cry (turn 40 though-that becomes a challenge), because he gave me (and you) this life.  I choose to dance, and make a fool out of myself, to spread joy to others, and feel it in my soul, because the one who created me, dances inside of me, and he wants to dance with you.

Psalms 149:3

Let them praise his name in the dance: let them sing praises unto him with the timbrel and harp.